When the year comes to an end it’s natural to ask yourself what you have accomplished; which steps you have taken towards the life you dream of; which challenges you have managed to overcome; which fears you have started to fight.
Have you had the courage to start over for real?
Are you disappointed by life or with yourself?
Are you mourning missed chances?
Don’t Drag Yourself Down
Life is not about now or never. Just because you chose fear and predictability over courage doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve given away opportunities forever. Chances come and go.
You just need to be prepared when life offers you another one
Without making mistakes, you wouldn’t be the person you are right now. If you’re not happy with the outcome, don’t worry. What matters is being aware that your past decisions haven’t put you on the right path.
Insight is the first step towards change. It’s about making new choices. It’s about growing and progressing.
You can start over. Think of what has happened as a learning and then, take according measures. In order to do that you have to reconcile with yourself.
Don’t let fear block your way again and make you take the line of least resistance when life asks you to grab the chance. You have all it takes to succeed if you dare.
Stop Mourning Missed Chances
Living in the past is a show-stopper and a guarantee for an unhappy life. Holding on to things you can’t change anymore is no way forward.
It’s okay to think about the past; it’s not okay to live in it, or, even worse, to blame yourself for making mistakes that led you to being where you are now.
Stop it. The moment is gone.
There will be a new one that might hold an even better chance than before. If you keep living in the past, you won’t be able to see the opportunities life holds for you in the present. Just because you’ve missed out on chances before doesn’t mean that you have sealed your fate.
Stop asking what if. You will never know what could have been. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. And maybe it was even for the better. Now is another time, another you.
It’s easier to forgive than forget. Forgiving is essential to be able to heal. Healing is necessary to be able to align your life anew and start over. All that matters is how you judge what happened.
We are prone to being very unforgiving when it comes to ourselves whereas we are quite forgiving towards others. Change the perspective and imagine being another person listening to your own story. Would it be really that hard to forgive?
Think about it.
Making mistakes and being fearful is human and no reason to be disappointed with yourself. Everyone missed out on chances in their life at some point. We learn by trial and error. It’s a natural process. Don’t hold it against you.
Cherish What You Have
Where there is light, there is shadow. Always. Make sure you look for the bright spots and what you have done right. No one is a complete failure (even if your internal critic tells you otherwise).
You will never be able to welcome new opportunities if you can’t cherish what you already have. Your life is the result of chances you have taken boldly – even the one’s you’ve missed or deliberately let go of. It’s a juicy mix of choices you’ve made. For sure, they were not all for the worst.
There’s a lot of strength and wisdom inside of you – despite your doubts and fears. Be thankful for what you already have in your life. Then, start looking for new opportunities.
No mistake defines your entire life or even you as a person. We’re talking about imperfect moments in time and not about absolute truth. It’s about finding out why you are in this situation now and what you could do differently next time to cease a given chance.
How many tests did you have to take more than once? Probably, you haven’t been happy about it but you sat down and learned harder in order to pass a similar test next time.
Same applies to life.
No situation will be exactly the same again, but you can prepare for comparable ones and grab the chance when it happens.
For example, if you didn’t accept a luring job offer because it required you to move, and now you’re unhappy with the position you’ve taken instead, figure out why you were not willing to commit to the opportunity in the first place.
Was it because you were afraid to be left to your own devices? Was it because you actually like being where you are? Was it because your partner had objections?
Once you know the reason, think about what you would do differently next time. If you can’t find a reason, maybe you’re even happy with the choice.
It could be just a single aspect that makes you doubt your decision, e.g. you actually like the job but you feel underpaid. Gather your accomplishments and ask for a payrise instead of planning to leave.
Believe in Change
Life means change. You are more capable of adapting to new circumstances than you give yourself credit for. Remember situations like taking on a new project or moving to a new house; saying good-bye to your best friend; finding a new partner.
Those are moments in your life which require you to adapt and, in the end, to change.
Change is one of the greatest gifts in life. You can start any time anew. You just have to make the effort. It’s about being willing to take on the opportunities that are offered to you; to become fearless instead of doubting yourself and your capabilities.
As long as you can draw hope and energy from your missed chances you will always be able to find new ones along your way to a fulfilled life.
When the new year starts, forget about what you haven’t accomplished yet. What happened before doesn’t count anymore. These thoughts will only block your way. Nothing is worse than standstill. Every single moment is new and full of possibilities. Embrace them. Be perceptive.
Make up your mind what you could do to make change happen finally. Tackle your fears in any way you can. Look for help if you think you can’t do it alone.
If you try and fail, it’s no big deal. You’ve made a start. It’s not necessarily about the big chances anyway. It’s about knowing what you really want in life and how to achieve it. Set your goals and take action.
It’s the journey that leads to the reward in the end. Each step, no matter how tiny, will make you grow and prepare you for the next one.
What’s your experience? Have you ever mourned missed chances? How did you deal with it? Please feel free to comment below.