Do You Have The Courage To Be Happy? 6 Fearless Steps How To Find It If You Don’t

Have you ever met a person who doesn’t want to be happy? Of course not. Who would deliberately prefer to remain unhappy? And yet, we deny ourselves this experience in many ways. Especially when we are anxious, we are unconsciously coming up with reasons why it is not possible for us to live a fulfilled life.

Having the courage to be happy, means to allow ourselves to enjoy life and live it on our own terms. If you are struggling, you might want to give a go to these

6 Fearless Steps How to Find the Courage to Be Happy

1) Don’t accept fear as your fate

Being fearful or anxious is not a life sentence, it’s a challenge  –  which makes a huge difference. It has nothing to do with our ability to enjoy the moment or our life. Even the happiest people have their dark moments.

If we think of fear as fate, we give up and admit that we are not in control. However, clinging to fear can make us feel safe somehow, because that’s what we are used to. It’s twisted. Holding on to the status quo is a curse when it prevents us from evolving and regaining trust in our ability to master life’s difficulties – and even more, to be happy.

How to find courage:

You are more than just your fear; don’t let it define your entire existence. When you feel fearful, consider it being nothing more than a weak moment that creates obstacles. They can be overcome. By attaching too much importance to fear, you forget that you hold the power over your life.


2) Re-establish a Basic Trust in Life

Don’t believe the news. Life is not all about catastrophes and drama. The media focus on what sells. Hence, bad news is good news and doesn’t represent life as such. When bombarded with bad news all the time, we easily start worrying without any given reason.

Usually, things tend to fall into place without us realizing: When everything goes smoothly, we don’t notice, because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We pay attention only to the extremes: “very good” and “very bad”, but not “normal” – which usually equals “good”.

How to find courage:

Trust your instincts and experience to guide you. In most cases, we can be sure that everything is going to be all right. Keep a journal and note down everything that went well, and be grateful. It sharpens our mind for the little things that we tend to overlook, especially, when we have some unpleasant encounters. Also, plan a “media diet” from time to time, and unplug from all the bad news.


3) Identify Guilt, and Get Rid of It

Guilt is a strong emotion. Combined with fear, it becomes the prison guard of our happiness. We all have different roles and expectations to live up to. Trying to please everyone will tear us apart. It’s impossible to fulfil every part to 100 percent – and we don’t have to. We are human beings with very own wishes and expectations that need to be met as well, but instead, we think

  • we are bad children, because we move away from home to take on our dream job abroad;
  • we are bad wives and mothers, because we also want to have a career;
  • we are bad husbands and fathers, because we don’t strive for fame and wealth;
  •  we are bad friends, because we cancel drinks after a stressful day at work.

How to find courage: 

You are not responsible for everyone’s well-being and emotions. Self-denial won’t do you or others a favour. Just because you look after yourself, too doesn’t mean that you lack commitment and are selfish. To the contrary, I am convinced that

  • we can be even better daughters or sons, if we are happy with the way our life turns out;
  • we can be even better wives and mothers, if we are content with our life and emotionally balanced;
  • we can be even better husbands and fathers, if we are not stressed and exhausted from work;
  • we can be even better friends if we have time to relax and sort our thoughts.


4) Trust What You Are Doing is the Right Thing

Failure and mistakes are important stepping-stones to success and happiness. We all have an inner compass that’s guiding us. Be true to yourself, and don’t pay attention to what society expects from us.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to a full life. There are people who love to work in highly competitive environments that come with long working hours. And there are others who dream of living a simpler life, but might feel pressured by their peers to “have a career”, as well.

How to find courage:

How we define success depends on us; it is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t consider yourself a failure, because you disagree to comply with general standards of success. Living a happy life is a matter of the heart and not of satisfying egos. The earlier you can get used to this thought, the more likely you are about to embark on your very own path to success.


5) Don’t Run After Happiness

I know this sounds contradictory, but it isn’t. We all want live a happy life; the problem is, that we are too busy and stressed trying to find a short-cut. It resembles a tour de force and makes us lose touch with what really could make us happy.

Or, to say it in the words of German poet and playwright Bertold Brecht: “Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.”

How to find courage:

Live every day one moment at a time. Don’t look back, don’t think of tomorrow. Do what needs to be done today. Our life consists of many single moments. None of them comes back.

Enjoy life as it unfolds every day anew, and be willing to face its challenges. Happiness can be a diva who wants you to make a mindful effort instead of taking the easy way out.


6) The Most Important Thing: Internalize That You Deserve to Be Happy

Are you afraid that something terrible is going to happen if you allowed yourself to be happy? Are you holding on to a deep belief that you don’t deserve it? It’s possible that, at some point in your life, you had an unpleasant experience and drew the wrong conclusions.

That’s nonsense, and deep within, you know it, too. Still, if we believe that we are not worth it, we will deny ourselves even the tiniest happy moment.

How to find the courage: 

Why should you, of all people, be the one who is denied happiness? There is no one else entitled to make this decision apart from you. Trust that a full and happy life is everyone’s birthright.

Deep within, there is a tremendous source of courage available already. Dare go and find it to face the ghosts of the past and overcome your fears.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking that you don’t deserve happiness, try to do exactly what your fear wants to prevent you from – this could be the key to a fulfilled life after all.


I would like to know: Do you have the courage to be happy? What do you consider obstacles? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.




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